You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
