Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
