I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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