I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
