I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
