forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
