I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
