the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i dont even know how to be here
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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