U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
there's paper in my vomit.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she smelled like a LAN party
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
MIDGETS
????
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
