I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
