so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
