I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This house was built for laser tag.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
