I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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