so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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