Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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