Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
