Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize