I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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