He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize