if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
