found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
