This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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