literally had 100 drinks last night.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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