your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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