OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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