So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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