mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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