Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
