I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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