feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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