just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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