dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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