You work out of a Hotel?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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