I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
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I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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