U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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