susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
