pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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