She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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