do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
