how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
