all she had left on were here heels. phone five
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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