The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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