how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
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Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
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I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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