he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
