Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
