two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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