she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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