How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
