It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
