I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
