My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
