come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
