So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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