I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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