So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Semen is not good for contacts.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
