it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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