I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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