end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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