Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
