walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
