Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
