ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
