Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You are the jesus of drinking
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
