I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
