If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
