so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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