Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
cat food counts as protein by the way
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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