Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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